Sunday, June 30, 2013

the perks of being a cancer patient

Where to begin? The past week has been unreal. I have been smothered with love and am completely blown away by how generous people are. Let's start with my birthday. The big day consisted of waking up to the present I have been wanting for so long.. A NEW BIKE!! It is AWESOME. A sweet hybrid to get me around and it's gold! I took that baby out for a spin right away and have used it to get to work a couple times too. All she needs is a name. That night I had the most perfect evening with friends and family. My favorite restaurant in the whole world, Trifecta (Winnetka), had a birthday dinner outside on the patio for me. The O'Neil family is a gift that keeps on giving. I'm telling you guys, you gotta go there. The tater tots are insane, they always leave me speechless. Everything on the menu is perfect, it's simple food prepared in the best version of it possible. I don't know how those O'Neils do it but man, it's phenomenal every time. After dinner we played cornhole and just had a wonderful time enjoying the company of family. I am surrounded by amazing people. It was a perfect night.
The next big event was the shave. Mr. Kyle Sorensen of Kyle's Cuts gave my noggin a nice, clean shave without a single nick. I don't think I looked in the mirror once while he did it and maybe not for the rest of the day either. I liked how it felt but it was quite an adjustment looking in the mirror. It took me a solid 48 hours until I was comfortable with the bald. Thank you to everyone who made it seem like a casual change, I thought learning to be comfortable in your own skin ended in 8th grade. I'm happy that it feels "normal" now. 

On Tuesday night I got to drive the Odyssey cruise ship around Lake Michigan and enjoy my first time on the water this summer thanks to my friend Tim. It was so neat to see the different parts of the boat and we really enjoyed the upper deck. I love lake air. It had some swanky jazz tunes playing and perfect views. Spending time on the lake was just a great way to enjoy my last day before another round of chemo started. Chemo on Thursday was fun, I had some friends from California in and my old roommate Sam visited. Having people there make the time pass by quickly and it makes a should-be-bummer-activity a fun one. I'm fortunate to have never dreaded a treatment because of the friends I get to share the time with.
So how do you top a perfect birthday, a night cruise of Lake Michigan, and unbeatable company? Two words: Chicago Blackhawks. My beloved Hawks beat the Bruins for the Stanley Cup on Monday night and the city has been celebrating ever since. I went to the parade in 2010 when we had the Cup and I cannot remember a time where I felt more pride to be from Chicago than that event. As you can imagine, I was quite bummed when I was told no to the parade; it was the day after chemo and just too much excitement and people for me. Watching the parade from home sounded... awful.. and I was pretty down about missing the celebration. But did my friends let that happen? Of course not. My favorite Conklin kids took it upon themselves to make sure I would get to celebrate the Hawks win. Brittney and Scott arranged for me to get to attend the post parade event with all the players and support staff. It was a friggin' dream come true day. I thought the best thing that would happen to me all day was the man who gave me a copy of his art book and bought me lunch before the event (seriously, so nice.. little gestures can make your day). But I walk into the event with my long time friends and see Corey Crawford right off the bat and get a "love conquers all" bracelet on him. Patrick Sharp gives me his only autograph of the event even though he was with his wife and beautiful baby (Patrick Sharp = Man). And the rest of the day is a blur of my favorite guys rocking Kayla bracelets and taking time out of there crazy lives to spend a minute with a fan. I was floating. The highlight was probably tracking down Coach Q and getting him to sign his first head- MINE! Coach Q is a boss! I also loved that Corey Crawford stopped my friend later to say that he met me and they discussed the bracelets (see picture below). It was all unbelievable and words cannot do the day justice. So how could it have gotten even better? The people that hosted and attended the event were unforgettable. To have strangers want to support me and my fight along with others in my shoes.. I have never met such generous people in a mass quantity like that before. Anyone associated with the Wirtz organizations are among the kindest I have ever met. You guys made a dream come true day for me and I will never forget you guys and cannot wait to connect again soon. Thank you.


As for the boring medical stuff, I almost wanna say who cares. This has been the worst I've felt through chemo so far but man does smiling and feeling loved change things. Besides, I'm one more round away from being done with my first cycle of chemo. Progress.

To close I wanna give a special shout out to the strong women I work with. A bunch of Baker teachers ran the Dirty Girl 5K today for breast cancer. It was a blast to watch them and I am so touched by their support. What a bunch of cool chicks. GO TEAM STAYLA!!
So many there are some perks to this whole cancer thing.. 
The biggest? All the love.

Monday, June 17, 2013

One month later

Well a whole month has gone by since diagnosis which is pretty hard to believe! What's changed? Not too much. I still am surrounded by the most loving family anyone could ever dream of. I still have the best friends in the entire world that haven't let me spend a minute of this alone. And I still just want the Hawks to bring home another win!!
Today will be more of a photo entry for you guys, I'm pretty pooped and planning on channeling every last bit of energy into the Hawkey game. So enjoy some good old fashion family fun pictures of the big buzz. I'm going to try to hold off shaving the rest of my head until the Cup is here for my version of a "playoff beard."
Mom taking some heavy duty cutco scissors to the matted mess.
Bzzzz

And viola! A solid team effort! *Special thanks to my parents for giving me a good shaped head*


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Cycle 2, baby!!

I am halfway done with round one of chemo! Treatment itself is always enjoyable, or at least it has been. Lots of great company and I know I'm actually doing something to kill the cancer. Plus it makes me pee red for a little which is sorta neat! After my appointment we walked the entire golf course with my Anna P and then it was family naptime. Since I woke up I've been staying on top of the meds and still eating real food, the nausea is very  mild right now. I still feel like Kayla for the  most part.
The past week has been truly wonderful. Feeling good is AWESOME!! I've been trying to take advantage of when I feel normal. I think maybe the hardest thing for us all to remember so far is I need friends close during the low points and then I need you guys there for fun times too! Even if I'm probably going to say no, don't forget about me on the weekends :)
Last Friday night I was fortunate enough to be given Sting tickets for Ravinia and had an amazing time! I got in a solid hour of dancing and singing before bedtime called. Then on Saturday my sister and her husband Alan came over and we celebrated my dad's birthday at the cubs game! My parents got to enjoy a break from the cancer fighting diet with Kira's blackberry lime cheesecake. YUM. The game was awesome, the seats were right on the first baseline, and my family all got some form of tasty ballpark food. My friend Suzanna came too as my date. I'm considering changing my blog name to "the perks of being a cancer patient" from the sweet hookups I've been given (still waiting for Hawkey tickets...hint, hint..) On Sunday we went to Milwaukee and met my mom's family there to see my Uncle Pete get baptized. It was such a cool experience and we are so proud of him. God has done some really special things with my uncle and I am so blessed to call him family. He also is really great with bad jokes and that's a pretty useful skill to have. I really loved getting to spend time with everyone and to do so with our favorite thing... food!
The weekend left me pretty exhausted but school is officially out for summer now and we had a fun final day together as a class. These kids rock. I also got to see my grandfather (dad's dad) on Tuesday, a family filled week indeed. Best of all, I HAD SOME CHEESE!
So all in all, things are still good. Nothing we can't handle yet! Oh and I got a major haircut! It is SHORT. I've never had short hair and feels so light and tiny. The fabulous folks at Glimmer Salon in Woodridge did a really good job. So got check them out! Sam and Sandy are as good as they get! 
Speaking of hair, I think it's starting to go. 2 weeks on the dot. Lots of strands are coming out when I touch it, which is hard not to because its so soft and silky from my 'do. I'm like a dog patiently awaiting my summer buzz.
My parents are doing well too, my mom just was offered a teaching job (yay!) and my dad made it around the entire golf course yesterday doing his best form of running. They're the best. Having the Hawks for fighting inspiration doesn't hurt too! 
Well I love you guys, thanks for everything. Love is the best fighting fuel.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

On the up and up

It's official. I am finally on the upswing. Day 7 (Wednesday) was the first day I started feeling like myself again and it has lasted all day today too. I cannot even begin to explain how even just a little better feels A LOT better. I have never been so appreciative of feeling good before. Hoping to even stay awake for more than a period of the Hawks game tonight!
I had my one week check up today and blood test. My white count and whatever cell it is that fights infection both had low counts and my doctor said to give it another 48 hours before fully diving into public gatherings. You know you love your job when your doctor recommends staying home tomorrow and you say no way lady! Otherwise all was normal with the check up, nothing unexpected, no changes in tumor feel, no surprises. Just how a week one check up should be!
Cycle one of chemo was pretty rough on days 1-6. Like I said before it's a tired I've never experienced and it's totally consuming. And after a few days of it I started having "I guess this is how I'm going to feel from now on" run through my head. That puts you in a tough place. I usually have no problem staying upbeat but to be honest I got a peek of "the dark side". I wondered how I was going to manage this new way of feeling with working and life in general. But as quickly as these feelings came, they left. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling like Kayla. I was smiling inside and out, felt like being goofy, and just genuinely enjoyed everything I did. Teaching on Monday and Tuesday got a little rough and I had many "fake it till ya make it" moments during those days. I actually had to duck out ten minutes early on Tuesday to go straight to my parents' to curl up in my dad's lap and sleep. By Wednesday night I was back to cracking jokes with Sam. The difference a day can make.
My parents and others who know me well have noticed the difference in me and see my normal self shining through again. I hope I was able to trick some of you during the low time though. If I'm not choosing to feel sorry or bad for myself then no one else should have to. We all have to remember that when I feel like garbage it means the chemo is working. I have to hang on to the good advice of my dear friend Wendy and embrace the tired, embrace the hair loss, embrace feeling sick. It just means my body is responding. Thank God I have the gift of snoozing that I do, plenty of time for my body to fight!
Overall the first cycle of treatment wasn't terrible. It's also going by quickly and I'm sure 20 weeks will be done before we know it. I've said it every post and I'll continue to say it, this would be so much harder without all of the love and support. No matter how awful I felt, I always enjoyed a text from a caring friend or not having to worry about cooking dinner because of my wonderful work friends and the food guru Lisa. Everyone has a part in making me a survivor. If I have any requests so far it would be that people keep me in mind and in their prayers during those first 6ish days after chemo. That's when I need your help the most. I know I'm known for having plenty of confidence and enjoying myself maybe even too much at times, but I might need some help in keeping me that way then. I never want this to become too much, it shouldn't, and I know it won't with your help. But feel free to remind me of how awesome I am anytime :)
Acupuncture has started which should help with chemo side effects and reducing any long term damage from it. I also had my first massage today (heavenly as always). It made me miss Linda a little though (Minnesota swimming what's up!).. My army of helpers is constantly growing and I love it. Y'all are amazing.
Thanks again for getting me through this first cycle. I am ready for the next one but am quite pleased that I have a whole week until I go in again! Also, Tuesday is going to be "Treat Yourself Day" and I plan on having something salty, something greasy, and something CHEESY. I miss cheese. Feel free to post recommendations on what my first "fun" treat will be. I CANNOT WAIT!!
Love you guys! Hope you have a great weekend and get some sunshine.
GO HAWKS!!!!!!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Cycle 1, Day 3


Chemo has officially started, praise God! Time to kill the cancer! The treatment itself was totally enjoyable, I was waited on with snacks and beverages, spent time with my family, introduced my parents to the best of Chris Farley (fries skit, obviously), had some wonderful guests stop in.. All while reclining in a comfy chair. Not a bad set up. After treatment ended we went for a family walk (I'll end every chemo with a walk or a swim (advice from my super friend Amber)), had lunch, and I embarked on my first post treatment nap for the next few hours. My family was kind enough to wake me for dinner which was when I started to experience the chemo tired. I have felt it the most in my skin. Every inch of it weighs a million pounds so moving around feels like I'm dragging all this extra junk. I installed a new shower curtain and was ready to sleep right after that task, with my arms dragging on my sides like an orangutan. My sleep was interrupted 3 times though with nausea; it comes in waves and eventually the need for sleep becomes stronger and it stops. I woke up feeling alright and had a good breakfast so I could take all my meds. The best thing about day 2 was that I got to participate in my school's 5k. It was my first goal of our fight so far and I'm happy I made it there. Granted I cut the course a couple times and walked the whole way, but it still counts in my book! I really enjoyed seeing all my lovely students and spending time having fun with them. Everyone was decked out in pink breast cancer bandanas and it really made me feel strong seeing the whole school stand with me. I was so impressed by the number of parents that did the run too! This is a community of rockstars.  My parents and my cousin Kiah came too, Patty crushed us all and Daddo finished the whole course honestly, like a champ! Kiah thankfully was ok with adjusting the path as needed :)
Kiah has been a real blessing to my army. We've had some lovely chats the past few days. She's been around to take care of me all week, she helped my parents teach for me, and has continued to remind me of why I have always looked up to her. One of the main things we've talked about is chemo and she has some wonderful insight on it. I'm glad she's been trying to process this whole situation herself, because what she's learning is helping me. She was talking about how chemo is viewed as such a challenging, negative thing usually. But really, chemo is doing the killing. Chemo is my teammate and plays a huge role in this quest to kill cancer. Chemo is fighting FOR me. So when I feel tired and weak, I can remember chemo is working inside of me, doing its job, which is ultimately to save my life. I want to cling to this mindset for when it gets rough and the side effects get stronger. I never want to dread chemo. I have to remember that it's fighting for me. I swear after my first treatment ended I already felt discomfort in my armpit which can only be the cancer starting to die already. Brilliant work so far, chemo!
After a 4 hour nap I woke up and went to the pool with my mom to coach a little. Maybe it was more to catch up with some of my favorite people and see all the happy kids that GA has, either way it just felt really good to be out of bed and with friends. The nausea got stronger as the day went along but I always felt better when I was getting some sunshine or with friends. I'm happy to be taking notes of this now so I know what to do down the road.
 After practice I had a nice dinner at my parents, set up their tv, did some mother encouraged abs, and ended the night with my dad reading next to me and my mom snuggled up by my side. Will I ever find a way to say how blessed I am to have the two most beautiful people on Earth as parents? They are amazing. I am so thankful for an opportunity for our family to grow even closer. I don't care how old you are, nothing in the world beats being surrounded by family.  Nothing is better than having your mom and dad sit with you while you fall asleep.
I am so thankful for the incredible Skinner family to share their space with us so we can have moments like this. I can't imagine how people accomplish things without the love of their family.
My nausea on day 3 is light but my hips are pretty sore from walking and my neulasta shot. I'll receive it the day after each chemo treatment to boost my immune system. It makes you a little sore because it's building white blood cells in the bone marrow, especially in the big bones like my hips. Hopefully no symptom changes happen when I finally get out of bed and start my day :)

I'd like to close this entry with a special thank you to the Glenbrook Aquatic community. You guys rock. I have never felt so loved and immediately a part of a crew whether I wanted that to happen or not. Every time I actually make it to the pool I so easily forget what's going on with the rest of my life. There's always some great chatting to be had, sassy jokes that no one is safe from, and really just some of the best people to spend your time around. Thank you guys for keeping me smiling and making me feel like I'm doing something productive even if I'm really just eating skinny pop with my girlfriends.

Oh! Almost forgot! First fundraiser/FUNraiser is in. Kira made those jelly bracelets for the cause. They are bright pink and say "love conquers all" with a ribbon on them and my name. My sales committee has priced them at $5 for one or $10 for 3. Get them while they last! Feel free to email, inbox, or text your orders!
Love you guys! Thanks for keeping me strong!